The Problem With Forgive and Forget

Preparing for this weekends Christian Yoga and Meditation Retreat, "Experience the Outlook of Freedom", forgiveness has been on my mind.  Forgiveness is freedom.  There are may scriptures nudging us towards forgiveness.  Forgiveness is a gift we give to ourselves as we let go of our grievances. 

Forgiveness is NOT forgetting. 

Pain is an effective teacher.  When I was a child I remember being paddled for jumping on my parents bed (they had given me warning as I gleefully wrecked their beautifully made bed).  I never jumped on their bed again.  Good thing (for them)  I remembered the pain.  I've met many Christians who are ridden with guilt because they can't "forgive and forget".   As they try to forget, they miss the fundamental steps of forgiveness...what they are doing is covering a festering wound.  In their heart, they still want revenge.  We all know this.  Often it is important to REMEMBER so that we do not enter a dangerous relationship again...as I said, pain is an effective teacher. 

 Christ instructed us to forgive, so that we can be free to use our energy in positive ways, versus revenge.  Forgive and forget are two separate things.   After forgiveness, it is our free decision to restore the relationship or not.  This judgment should not be taken lightly and council or advice helps us find perspective.   If we should decide to restore the relationship, I do believe forgetting is essential.   Though Christ is able to no longer hold our sins against us through forgiveness, our sinful nature usually needs some help and in that case a little forgetfulness might be in order!