How to Develop More Interesting Relationships

A business coach once shared with me that his #1 secret to success was to be more interested than interesting. I agree. Ironically, some of the most successful interesting people I know are also the most interested people I know. Sam Walton, founder of Walmart stores, supposedly rarely if ever forgot a name. Sam Walton also made many trusting business relationships to build a worldwide store chain. He was interested, which transcended him to become extremely interesting.

I'm not sure I'm the expert in being interested, though it's on the forefront of my mind. So here are a few strategies I'm using to manifest interest:

1. Listen--The old saying God gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason has so much truth. The more I practice yoga and meditation, the more keen my ability to pick up on the subtleties of what people are saying. For example, when you boss is asking about your work, he really may be scoping you out for a different more exciting opportunity or responsibility. I believe we pass up life changing opportunities everyday because we don't have the acuity to hear the call. Often the call is through people so listen!

2. Ask--We are all evolving people. Though we may know where one has been, and where they are now, you may find yourself full of assumptions about where they are going. The moment you feel you know someone, you are putting them on a shelf and limiting their ability to move and help you. Today is a new day, and if you ask you may find you really didn't know the person you "know" so well.

3. Real Face Time--In a world of virtual relationships, we are loosing the ability to be competent with basic social graces. I know the college freshman in my class prefer to communicate with me via email and other web based communication systems. If possible, I often wait to answer their question personally in class to have some "face time" communication. This gives me the opportunity to ask more questions and be more interested in them. Giving people our face as we speak and facing our bodies towards them are great communication strategies. I'm always amazed how many adjacent- shoulder-looking-into-the-horizon conversations I see at the gym and church and work and well everywhere. Give people real face time instead of the virtual kind.

It's intriguing to be thought of as an interesting person and being interested can certain help achieve that; though, it seems to me that if being interesting was the goal, the efforts to be interested would flop. My main motivation for becoming more interested is to develop more interesting relationships and I believe these strategies will do just that!

3 Simple Strategies to Create Gratitude...Everyday!

Last year a tornado ravished through our neighborhood, flipping roofs off houses and uprooting trees within minutes. It felt like a train was driving through the neighborhood causing stuff to fly everywhere. Being uprooting from our home and returning for Thanksgiving I wrote the posts Where Do I Find Calm In the Storm? and A Salty Thanksgiving Back Bend. Last week I noticed twisted metal clanging from a naked tree as I enjoyed an evening walk. I found myself grateful to be strolling through a neighborhood with scars. I quite don't remember how I felt during my walks before the storm, however, I know now I have more gratitude for my home and my neighbors' home post tornado. Hardships will create gratitude, though, you don't have to wait for a storm to realize your life wasn't that bad after all.

Here are 3 simple strategies to create gratitude...everyday!
1. Appreciate the Ordinary--There is so much good in our days and lives. The good is so overabundant it appears ordinary...until the storm comes through. It's amazing what we take for granted. I'm completely guilty of rushing through the after school taxi-mom service and forgetting to notice how awesome each one of my kids are. Yes, it's the ordinary after school chaos of somehow managing 4 children to simultaneously arrive at 3 different places. Yes, they're still awesome and evolving...everyday!

2. Give a Compliment--Yesterday a Senior Lecturer took time to warmly share with me that she has heard some great things about me and the University was fortunate to have me as faculty. This took me by surprise as I said thank you. She of course didn't have to say this, however, I suspect as a teacher of many decades, she is always looking to compliment and empower her students and junior faculty. It feels good to be appreciated. Taking time to compliment...everyday!

3. Fill Your Prayers With Thanks--It's been said that "Thank You" is the best prayer anyone can say. Truth. Of course we all have a need for divine intervention to change a circumstance, however, when we stack the list of needs next to the stack of blessings, we find the lists are more about our attitudes towards life. We had a friend over for dinner recently and as I was sharing a story and trying to describe my elated heart response, he genuinely interjected, "Praise God!". Those were the words I was looking for! So Praise God...everyday!

Yoga and meditation has certainly helped me cultivate the mental organization to cultivate habits of gratitude. I definitely want to grow in gratitude because I know it will continue to multiply the joy and abundance in my life. As you sit down for Thanksgiving Dinner this year, I hope your list of blessings is longer than your list of needs and that you feel joy in gratitude. Happy Thanksgiving!

3 Simple Holiday Sanity Strategies

Today I went to the post office around 2 pm to find a long line of old ladies mailing large packages. These grandmas were getting their Christmas gifts out in the mail early to avoid the holiday crowd and potential inclement weather. Next week is Thanksgiving and our Indiana weather was 16 degrees with snow--yes it was colder than Siberia, Russia today, yes those old ladies were probably smart to get the packages out early. I drove past the mall around 2:20 and the lot was full. It's that time of year where the decorations are up and the yuletide insanity begins.

Keeping sane during the holidays is a challenge so here are 3 simple strategies to keep you sane this season:

1. Give to Yourself--The holidays are largely about giving, however we forget to give to ourselves. As our lives are full, the shiny packages under the tree don't mean as much as the intimate time with ourselves. Give yourself some time, whether it be 10 extra minutes in the morning with your cup of coffee or an afternoon walk in the brisk fresh air. Taking time in your holiday schedule to give to yourself will enrich your giving to others in the deepest of ways.

2. Remember--My holidays have been bittersweet seeing excited children as I hold on to the grief of losing my father. Each year it seems to get easier though never goes away. What has helped me is to remember the fun memories we had at Christmas. Dad LOVED Christmas and spoiled us all exclaiming, "this is why he came to America". The memories do bring tears but also bring peace as they settle my soul to be in the moment.

3. Yogathea--The grocery store crowds, social gatherings, school programs, incompetent drivers and annoying music brings out the inner...well refer to the picture above. Get to your Yogathea class so you may

"Breathe the Peace Which Transcends All Understanding ~ Mind + Body + Spirit". If you don't have a class near you, I'll be glad to sell you a Christian Yoga DVD (yes this is shameless plug). If you already have one, don't forget about your friends (okay, another shameless plug. I'm done now.)

If you do become seized with the yuletide insanity, remember these simple strategies and I will see you in class or sitting on your back porch soon!

3 Steps to Move A Mountain

Need GREAT faith in your life? Jesus tells us in Mathew 17:10, "if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you".

I remember a few years back when my baby was ill and his army of doctors were unable to keep him healthy. Thousands of dollars in testing and long lonely nights haunted me as the medical experts tried to figure out the cause of illness. I needed a mountain to move and it did...with 3 steps.

1. Envision the Outcome--The truth is that everyone has faith. Unfortunately, we often have faith in the worst possible scenario or negative outcome. During my son's time of illness, I had faith and believed he would be ill, because that is what I saw and nobody was giving me answers that were helping him. As long as I believed he would be ill, he remained ill. Finally it occurred to me that he could be well, despite the circumstances, I was able to believe he had the possibility of becoming a healthy, happy child that would play like a normal kid with the rest of the kids (he was significantly delayed in development too). Though Jesus was not around to heal my son (I would have traveled on foot many miles with a sick kid for this miracle), I remembered that Jesus left us the church with elders who anoint the sick with oil (James 5:14). We drove to Chicago to meet with the elders (the Bible said elders so I requested at least 2). Soon there after we met with a doctor who had a reasonable theory and immediately prescribed an easy but rare treatment. Within days my toddler son became healthy by taking an over-the-counter body building supplement 3 times a day. Who would have known his body does not produce enough of a specific amino acid essential for muscle development? I believe faith opened the door to find the answer.

2. Follow Through--Actions reveal our faith and desires. Wanting and finally believing my son could be better wasn't enough, I had to follow through on giving him his medication. Because of the illnesses, he did have other medications at the time. Being in the emotional state I was and having to take care of 3 other children as well as myself, house, husband and more, it was difficult for me to be compliant with the new medical routine. As a healthcare worker experienced in teaching people methods of compliance for a medical routine, this was embarrassing to me. I humbled out and got a home health nurse. She helped me develop a routine to dispense the meds ahead of time with a chart for the family. Yes I knew how to do all of this, yes I was too paralyzed to do it, yes I got help and yes it was worth it! Whatever your desired outcome, align your actions accordingly and this sometime takes sacrifice and a bit of humility.

3. Give Thanks--Most of the time results don't occur in a moment. Though my son's response to his new treatment was immediate with better health, it has taken several years to see him develop into a normal child. He is now 6 and runs around the playground, makes jokes and pulls pranks like any other boy. It's always a miracle to see him thrive and I give thanks! He still takes his medicine 3 times daily, fatigues quicker and requires a lot speech therapy to be understood. His doctor count has reduced from 5 to 3. He's still developing and the mountain is still moving in his life and mine. Giving thanks through the process allows me to enjoy the journey.

In fitness I frequently deal with people who want to change their health bodies. Often this task appears to be an unmovable mountain. The mountain can of course move but will not move overnight. Having the maturity and patience to envision a desired outcome, follow through, and give thanks through the process, will creat faith and move a mountain.

3 Mindful Steps to Prepare for Tomorrow

This past weekend my family and I winterized, moving lawn chairs to the shed, hanging bikes and more. Preparing for the needs of tomorrow is responsible, mature and important. Despite knowing proper diet and exercise is needed for vitality, especially later in life, many do not prepare for tomorrow finding themselves unhappy and dependent. I'm supposing financial advisers see "Grasshopper and Ant" lessons all of the time.

In America we take care of our grasshoppers. This little ant appears tired to me and why isn't that grasshopper working? With busy lives and growing responsibilities, it's easy to neglect mindfulness of tomorrow so here's 3 tips to help you.

1. Envision Yourself in 20 Years--As a final project for my Intro to Health and Fitness P130 class, I asked the college freshman to write a paper describing their current health and fitness habits and then to project their health and bodies at age 40. Most of them looked at me with horror because I suggested that they will be 40. This is typical with us all as it is scary to think about being 40 or 60 or 80... Fortunately there is no such thing as a bad heart in your 90s, just saying. 

2. Create a New Vision--Now that you're over the horror of fast forwarding a couple of decades, create a new vision. Twenty years is enough time to build a business, raise a family, travel the globe and accomplish your life goals. Use your imagination to picture a new vision of your life and dream big!

3. Go For It!-- One of my favorite quotes is, "If you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done." Creating your life for a better tomorrow requires a plan, diligence, and consistency. Remember those ant worked through the summer and rested though the winter. Rest does come if you have planned and saved. If you're feeling weak to make changes, remember what Proverbs 30:25 says: Ants are creatures of little strength, yet they store up their food in the summer. I've never seen an ant carry more than a large crumb. They just carry a new crumb on each trip to the anthill. 

As you prepare for tomorrow, I hope you are able to avoid a pesky grasshopper leaning on you and you carry your crumbs!

Feed Hungry Children: Take the Rice and Bean Challenge

While visiting my 1st grader son for lunch I noticed his friend stuffing food into her pockets. When I inquired I learned she was taking food home for dinner--of course it had to be hidden because food isn't allowed in the hall or class or bus! As I explored the issue more I discovered how this contraband was to be shared with her little sister who wasn't old enough to go to school and eat. Immediately the wasted food in my house comes to mind: guilty. This girl lives about a mile from my home.

It's been a family tradition of ours to have "Rice and Beans" night monthly at our home: we eat rice and beans for dinner and share the saved money with a local food pantry. This tradition has allowed us to involve our children in sharing with children who are dependent on resources outside of their family to eat. A rice and beans meal will feed my family of six for less than $2. Typically I budget $10-$12 dollars to feed my family dinner each night, sometimes I splurge and spend $15. Our local food pantry, Kokomo Urban Outreach, can feed a child on the weekends throughout the school year for $130 by issuing "Buddy Bags". You do the math.

As a yoga and fitness instructor, I am extremely conscious of the nutritional value in foods. My 1st grade son has a Metabolic Genetic Disease that requires proper nutrition for his medical stability. We are a healthy family. All of the essential proteins are found in the staple meal of rice and beans. Somehow the amino acids in rice and beans recombine to create a complete profile. Additional nutrients and vitamins are recommended, however people have known for thousands of years that humanity can survive on rice and beans.

Recently my mom called excited about a video cooking contest she thought we could win (this is not normal behavior). Hearing about the $30,000 cash prize for your school to makeover the cafeteria, I was compelled to say YES! One problem, despite out regular healthy meals at home, I'm not a gourmet cook, just a healthy efficient cook. As if it were meant to be, our rice and bean tradition came to mind and the "Rice and Bean Challenge Recipe" was born. Somehow I managed to set aside a week of my life to interview the school, and edit video. I learned that 86% of the children who go to school with my 1st grader live at or below the poverty level. Nearly all of the children eat 2 meals a day at school. No wonder this girl was smuggling food.

Knowing the sacred nature of family mealtime, it became evident to me how schools provide this for children without dinner tables at home. Uncle Ben's Rice who is sponsoring the contest finds value in the dinner table tradition and school cafeteria as well.  

As life and fate always surprises us, my son Andrew is in a video cooking contest encouraging other families to take the "Rice and Bean Challenge". Watching this child grow and develop is an overwhelming joy to me as he has not always been a healthy, medically stable child. Andrew lives with a disease he was born with and requires medication throughout the day in order to function. I now believe he was "Made Perfectly" and have always admired his courage with his team of doctors. Going through this ordeal to help Andrew become medically stable taught me how God lives within and moved me to start my business. (See my youtube video testimony here or visit my website at www.yogathea.com).

I hope to see the children of Elwood Haynes receive a cafeteria makeover, I know it would be so exciting for them because school is home and where their dinner table sits. More importantly, I hope you will take the "Rice and Bean Challenge" and give to your local food pantry. It's easy and you might just brighten up a kids weekend!

 You may view and vote for our cooking video through today at this link: http://bit.ly/1pum7ZX.

3 Reasons Accepting Help Helps You

Accepting help can be difficult. For those of us over-achievers it can perceptively threaten our competence. Can I say let's eat some humble pie? Recently at the gym I helped a chick push in her 100+ pound prowler on her last lap of our group training. To push a prowler for any length of time or distance requires strength, endurance and lots of sheer wit. In my experience, the prowler will condition and fatigue it's driver.

Knowing this woman was at her limits, I thought I was being helpful and encouraging to assist. Knowing my limit is a 65 pound prowler for the required laps, I had completed the set and was already recovering. Gathering some extra energy I helped push her in for approximately 20 yards. She was offended. Shortly after the training session was finished I saw her completing her prowler set alone. I suppose this is a testament to integrity though not sure what this actually gained her? She seemed to be throwing a major pouting fit as she pushed alone. I left her alone this time as did everyone else.

Despite the vulnerability involved, Accepting Help Helps You and here's 3 reasons why:

1. Life Is More Fun Together:  Accepting help on the last lap does not mean you're incompetent, it means you didn't finish alone. Life is more fun together and what's the point of crossing the finish line if nobody s there to celebrate with us?

2. Understanding Limits: Too often we take on more than we can handle. This becomes obvious when an area of life starts falling apart: our house becomes a mess, we gain a few pounds, the bills start piling up. Pushing ourselves to the place of needing help, helps us understand where our limits are and how they are growing and changing.

3. Gratitude: Saying thank you is so much more delightful than having a silent (or not so silent) pouting fit. Only our insecurities challenge us to believe we have something to prove. Accepting help develops gratitude within us which brings us joy.

Somewhat recently I accepted dinner for my family when I was starting my new job. Nobody died, I didn't have a baby or was in hospital, my friend just saw my limits were exceeded and stepped in to help. I'm glad she did. My family appreciated her chicken tenders more so than any Hodge-Podge dinner I would have thrown together.  My heart changed from worry about "getting everything done" to gratitude and what a great transition that is!